But he gave me an egg!

It's been a month without me reporting my progress dates.

Remember blonde rejection dude? Well, after him I was set to go out with hot single father. Let me paint a picture of the picture on his profile. He is 41, white, curly brown hair, hazel eyes, super straight teeth and toned body. The kind of guy who makes you drop your pants when you see him in a suit and tie.

The day came, I parked right across the restaurant we were meeting in (which happened to be the same one I went to with the Persian guy- complete coincidence). As I am crossing the street I notice someone walking in front of me and managed to get a glimpse of his face. He was wearing dark wash jeans, brown shoes, suit jacket and the sexiest cologne EVER. I said to myself "wow. I'd totally tap that. I hope it's him...kinda looks like the guy in the picture". Sure enough, he was.

We took our table, started chatting and I found out he finalized his divorce a couple of months ago after being separated for 2 years, he has 3 beautiful little boys and his ex wife is co-owner of his business. Not sure how I felt about all this. I have to admit the guy is super attractive, and his children I can deal with. His ex? I'd disappear her if I could.

He doesn't drink -ever- so we had sparkling water and some really good appetizers. Halfway through dinner he asks me if I celebrate Easter (which was 2 days away). I told him I did and he puts his hand to his pocket and says "Ok. I wouldn't give you this if I didn't like you already..." and hands me a Cadbury Créme Egg. I thought this was the sweetest thing. 

After dinner he asked if I wanted to go for a walk and so out we go. He holds my hand. I don't let go. Of course I wanted to walk around parading this hot older dude I'm with. I asked if he had ever dated someone considerably younger and he told me he went on like 5 dates with a 22 year-old about 6 moths ago. We went down to a bar called Vin de Syrah (not sure why since he doesn't drink anything...). There was a guy called Smoota playing, you should really check him out to fully understand our facial expressions. We were CRACKED UP. His lyrics are all about sex...needless to say, it was mildly awkward. His first song started with "I haven't touched myself in 40 days, and 40 nights". Yep, that was going to be our song.

After a while we decided to call it a night so he could go back to his kids. He walked me to my car and said he'd like to go out on Thursday. We parted ways.

Saturday and Sunday passed, no sign of him but I didn't think much of it. Monday I decided to text him a picture I saw of a story he told me. He texted back, said he was in Arizona interviewing people.  That same night, I had a date with a guy we'll call Jake.

I was with Jake and didn't hear my phone ring, so when I got home I saw an email from hot single dad. Not what I was expecting:

Blah blah blah followed by-

I want to tell you that I really enjoyed our date Friday, but I must pursue another relationship (TBD). I am looking for “the one”, and due to my circumstances, I am content with not being in a relationship until I meet that person.  I also don’t think it is fair to keep a good girl off the market if I’m not 100% committed.  appreciate you taking a chance on a divorced guy with three kids- very mature of you.  On behalf of all the other guys like me, I hope you continue to keep your mind open ;) Anyway, this is probably Too Much Information, but I just like you a lot and thought you deserved to know my thoughts.'

My immediate thought was...I'm 25 and I have to start worrying about younger women?! He went on a handful of dates with a 22 year old and I couldn't even manage to get to the second one?!?!?! But he gave me an egg!!!


So yeah, on to the next one.

Rejection

So there was this really cute guy on Match, who had this really cute profile and sent me a really cute message.

Turns out, we had crossed paths the same day he emailed me and we weren't even aware of it. I thought it was a sign from the heavens that my soul mate had finally arrived. We emailed for a bit and agreed to meet the following Monday for coffee.

There I was, sitting outside the coffee shop waiting for my future baby daddy to show up. Then, I saw him. Tall, fit, blonde, cutest smile ever and eyes so blue I was sure my kids would end up in a Gerber commercial if they inherited them. 

We started talking about our families, work, things we do for fun...before we knew it, 2 hours had passed and we were ready to call it a night. He said he'd like for us to hang out again, hugged me, said he'd call me and we parted ways.

15 minutes later I got a text from him. THE text that we all wait for after a date -even though it technically wasn't a date. "Thanks for seeing me tonight, it was a pleasure meeting you". Yep, things were great. I had a ridiculous smile from ear to ear and I had a really pleasant day at work the next day.

And then it happened.

An email through the website. Not a text. Not a call. I had waited all day for him to get in touch. He did...with not such good news. He doesn't want to see me again. Apparently the chemistry wasn't there as much as he would like. I admit I agree with him, he was really cute but we were both kind of shy. I just thought we would give it another shot and see what happened. Nope.

I must say, he was as polite as anyone can be when rejecting someone and I appreciate him taking a few minutes to say "this ain't happening". At least he wasn't an asshole about it.

Ugh.

Lucky for me I have another date on Friday, though I will not jump to conclusions until I've seen the guy a few times. Funny story, he made reservations at the same place the "I miss you" guy took me to dinner...let's just hope we don't bump into each other.

Online Dating

So, in keeping up with my plan of meeting new and interesting guys I may will never find in my city, I, my friends, have decided to try online dating. Since my two other good friends are already trying it I decided to join the club of "people who are incapable of meeting their soulmate in the wine section at Target".

I thought I would NEVER, EVER be one of them. Turns out life always finds a way to slap me on the face so here I am.

I decided to make an investment on Match.com and Eharmony, thinking that if I was going to become an online dating junkie I might as well turn it into market research and benchmark both services. I am business oriented like that.

Eharmony happened first. My impression: The website is much more appealing in terms of design. It looks (and is) more expensive than its competition and happens to be more selective when it comes to sending you matches. It has a "What if" section in which you see people who don't really match but still have potential.

Match.com is not as appealing visually, but it lets you browse through people who might not have been matched to you but you still want to contact because they look hot. So far, match seems to be giving me better results.

I have received a gazillion likes, winks and messages on Match, which gets kind of annoying at times. What really bothers me is that when I wink at a hot guy and he doesn't reply! like this Italian god I found the other day and never replied to my message. Oh, well.

I went out with a guy from Eharmony on Friday, just coffee, quick meet and greet. Maybe it was because Europeans are much more open about everything so they find no fault in speaking about more personal stuff, but dude, I honestly do not need to know that sex with your ex-wife was great.

I might meet with a guy from match today :) I am texting a couple of guys from there and we'll see where it goes.

The end of Speed Dating...for now

Morning, peeps!


So, let's keep the ball rolling and keep it short and sweet...for Ben (aka. Guy #2)


He emailed, asked for my number, texted me, said we should hang out. Never heard from him again.


The end.


But life never fails to surprise, and there it was. The match I was hoping to get. I have to admit I was upset that he hadn't picked me, but then again...most men are procrastinators and I guess it took him a while to pick and choose. Not that there was a lot to choose from, though. I can honestly say that us 3 were the most good looking single gals in the room.


Anyway. Guy #8, henceforth referred to as...Oscar? Yeah, that works.


I open my email and I see it, a message from Oscar Whatchamacallit. We exchanged emails for a bit and decided to meet up the following Monday before he went on a business trip. I was so nervous it's not even funny. I got to the coffee shop 5 minutes early and got a text from him. "I'm here".


I suddenly realized he was the guy in the Jeep next to mine. Yup, it was a match made in Jeep lovers heaven. I saw him cross the Street and walked behind him (in a not creepy sort of way). He looked even better than I remembered.


I was wearing sky high boots because, well, I'm short. Still, he seemed like Michael Jordan to me. Hazel eyes, brown hair, sexy voice and broad shoulders. Plus, he had a really cute smile, the kind that makes you think he's a good boy in the streets and a freak in the sheets.


We were there for about 2 hours, but I couldn't really read him. By the end of it I wasn't sure if he was interested or not. Lord knows I was... We walked to our cars and said our goodbyes. He hugged awkwardly and said "Let me know if you want to hang out again."


We kept emailing for a few days, he asked if I had any plans for the weekend and as soon as I wrote back he'd disappear for a day or two, then email again and the same thing happened. He later disappeared for good.
 
THAT was the end of my speed dating experience. My friends and I considered doing it a second time with a nicer agency that held events at a venue we actually liked, but we haven't registered yet and we are not sure if we will.


We are trying to get out of our comfort zone, and so far I think we are doing a pretty good job at that. We're not in a hurry to find Mr. Right. In fact, we might never find him and that's ok :)

Speed Dating- Part 2

So after discovering that speed dating is not my preferred method of meeting people, I decided to give it a shot with my 2 matches. We will call them Ben (see Guy #2 from previous post) and Jerry (Guy #6). 

Communication started via email with Jerry the day after the matches were made. For one reason or the other we were just not able to coordinate agendas. Either he was house hunting or I was stuck at work or whatever other thing the universe had against us. 

I should have taken it as a sign.

Stubborn girl that I am, I gave it another shot at meeting him even though I was sick. It was about 2 weeks after the event. We met in downtown to go for some drinks on a Friday night. He opened the restaurant door for me, which was nice. 

One point for Gryffindor.

We sat down, ordered our drinks and started talking about work, family and such. Everything was going great, so far I hadn't felt the need to have a friend bail me out of my date. I was having a great time but wasn't completely sold on the fact that he was about my same height. I'm 5'3", it really isn't much of a science being taller than me. Yeah, I was wearing heels and looked about an inch taller than him but still, I'd much rather be hit by a baseball than give up my shoes...I like tall guys and feel safe with one, nothing I can do about it. Sorry, not sorry. 

I was set on not putting up a wall because of this tiny little detail. After all, he did have a very sexy accent and his eyes were pretty. He still had something going on for him physically. Putting all of that behind me and focusing on the nice time we were having, I agreed to go out with him a second time. 

We kept texting and I should've read the signs that he was one of those guys who gets attached easily. Like, really fast. I have labeled myself as a commitment-phobe because you will probably not meet anyone more afraid of a lifelong relationship than I am. Why? I have no clue. It is what it is but I am trying to change that. 

Anyway. Back to this dude. 

I got cute texts every morning and so far I was liking the attention. We finally went on our second date, chose a cute Italian restaurant and as soon as our food hit the table I saw it. Or should I say heard it? He chewed with his mouth open. Like, can't-live-like-this noisy. Impossible, no way Jose, I cannot, oh my gosh.

I tried my best to ignore it thinking it shouldn't be a deal breaker and that it could be fixed. We survived finished dinner and went to a bar across the street to grab a beer. Overall he was a nice, smart guy, cute and funny. I should be hooked, right? Wrong. Hooked I was not. To make matters worse, I accidentally led him to believe I was. 

Here's how it happened:

We picked a couch and sat down, kept chatting the night away, when suddenly his hand is on my knee. I gave no reaction whatsoever. Mistake #1. 

10 minutes later he made the I-am-yawning-and-will-stretch-my-arm-across-your-back move. Again, I did nothing. Mistake #2. 

After a couple more songs he went for it. He grabbed my hand. I did not let go. Mistake #3.

Now, if you must know I was actually not minding it much but at the same time wanted to figure out a way to disengage myself without being rude. 

We started talking about the whole speed dating thing and he says "well, now that I've met you I hope I don't ever have to do it again". I gave a nervous laugh.  

Finally, after convincing him it was time for me to leave because I LIVE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY AND NEED TO CROSS THE BORDER and listening to a few "but I don't see you that often", we walked to my car. As we were walking I noticed it again. He was short. I was wearing shorter heels than last time, but still. 

This was too much. The chewing, the height, the touchyfeeliness. This could go no further. 

I opened my car door and before I knew it he says "I'll miss you". 

I flipped on the inside and not in a good way. How can you possibly miss me after just our second date? I panicked and heard myself uttering the words "me too". 

WHAT?! 

No you won't, Alex. You barely know him and you can't take it back. *sigh* This was Mistake #4, by the way.

He leans in for a kiss and I manage to discretely turn away so he only grazed my cheek. I said goodnight and made a run for it. 

Yep. That was the end of guy #6. 

I really do hope he finds a nice girl because in all honesty, he deserves one. 

Stay tuned for a follow up on my speed dating prospects ;)

Speed Dating

Let's go back to mid January. A couple of friends and I decided that since we had no plans for that weekend, we'd try something new. "Let's go speed dating!, what's the worse that can happen?" 

Yep, that's the first indicator that we have watched one too many chick flicks. 

We found a group at meetup.com that promised to have THE most awesome speed dating events (big red flag: it wasn't pricey at all...). Armed with our credit cards and no expectations, we got our tickets and patiently waited for a new kind of girls' night out. It was at a local comedy club and your speed dating registration included a comedy show right after. 

Picture this: 

Friday night, Friend A and I drive across the border to pick up Friend B. We had promised to keep it a secret because "OHMYGOD YOU ARE GOING SPEED DATING?! YOU ARE SO YOUNG! YOU DON'T NEED THAT!". Yup, we have no time for sermons. 

So there we go, 3 girls in their cutest shoes, walking in to a comedy club that smelled like mold (eeew). As soon as we stepped in, the hostess asks in the most high-pitched, loudest voice ever: "Are you here for the speed dating event?!" The few people waiting for the first comedian turned and looked at us. She took us to a small event room on the back of the club. 

We were the first ones there. We didn't want to feed the stereotype that Mexicans are always late. Once we checked in, we turn around and there they are. A bunch of guys waiting for their number. I panicked. We went to get some drinks before the whole thing started and decided that Brad Pitt and his friends were definitely not coming. 

Off we go to sit down. We had tables 1, 2 and 3. We sat giving our backs to each other to a) not get too nervous if we glanced at each other, and b) not laugh out loud if we caught a lame date. BEST IDEA EVER.

The organizers give you a sheet with the names of all your dates (we had about 19), you then check yes or no to each one as they pass through and take some notes. Each gets 5 minutes at your table. 

The bell rang. Guy #1 was a no-no even before he uttered a single word. He was so distracted it's not even funny and started talking about his past speed dating experiences. Apparently he's not a huge nature lover as he went on a rant about how his last match was signed up with Greenpeace and that was "SO LAME". My answer was "I'm signed up with Greenpeace too...fyi". After brushing off my comment he proceeded to give a speech about how he doesn't care about the Earth because it's going to end anyway and since we are all made of stardust we will eventually be born again. The bell rang again. I was able to breathe now. 

Guy #2 was his best friend. Tall, blonde-ish and not as arrogant as his buddy. He had spent a few years in Afghanistan and was now stationed back in SD. I checked YES but wasn't completely sold. 

Then there was the "taken foreigner". I didn't even ask. Moving on.

There was also this guy who was on his 4th round of speed dating and he had never gotten any matches. He seemed like a nice person but...not for me. Funny hair, scary stare. He was a kindergarten teacher, had a 6 year old daughter, occasionally smoked pot and dressed plain weird. Overall, he wasn't really worried about first impressions. He even smelled funny. 

I can't remember the specific order of the rest, so I'll just assign them a number :P 

Guy #5 believed we had SO MUCH in common because we both liked food.  "Oh my God this is so weird! We are such foodies, all we are talking about is food. this is AWESOME! it's very cool!" Well, yeah, I need to eat sometimes and it's all you are asking about. That does not make us soulmates. He then asked what I do for a living and I guess he wanted to play his i'm-so-interesting card because when I asked him back he said "I'll tell you what. I know I'm going so say yes to you, so when you say yes to me and we go on our first date I'll tell you". "ok, you've got yourself a deal" I said. The bell rang. I checked NO. 

Guy #6 I decided to check YES. Born in Iran, he came to the US when he was 17. He had a sexy Persian accent and beautiful eyes and works in the same industry as I do. Shy, but gave me hopes for the rest of the evening.

Guy #7 looked as if someone forced him to be there. Wouldn't talk if I didn't, and then replied with no more than 3 words. Meh. 

Guy #8 was #7's cousin and the last of the night. Really tall, good looking and talkative. Also worked in my industry which gave us something to pass the 5 minutes with. I checked YES and hoped that if we ever made a baby, those good looks would be inherited. 

The rest of the bachelors are all a blur. We left the room and went to the ladies room. I had been holding it for one hour and desperately needed to pee. There was no line but we did bump into a couple of drunk ladies complaining about the quality of the guys. After that it was time for the comedy show. We sat down for 5 minutes of not laughing at all and decided to leave. 

The ride to downtown was quite entertaining. My friends and I exchanged notes and realized we had picked 2 guys in common: Guys #2 and 8. We went to a bar in Gaslamp, danced, grabbed some drinks. A couple of guys approached us with no intention of hiding the fact that they only wanted sex. 

The next day, I logged in to the speed dating website to select my potential matches. I chose the 3 lucky winners and discovered 2 of them had picked me as well. Needless to say, my ego was very hurt that Guy #8 was not one of them. 

In conclusion, while it was fun to do that with my friends, I will certainly not be making a habit out of it. It makes for a funny story to tell, that's for sure! 

Stay tuned for a follow up to this story ;) 

Hi!
I am Alex, single and in my mid 20s which I am enjoying quite a bit. I have a job that I love, great friends and an AMAZING family. A soulmate? Not so much, but that's ok! 

I started this blog to share my experiences in the dating world. I'd call them adventures but I know people with a far more exciting love life than mine so...yeah. Anyway, thanks for reading!